After 9/11/2001, I developed a debilitating fear of flying
I had a husband, two small children at home and a Director level job that required frequent flights to Baltimore. On 9/11/2001, a colleague and I were scheduled to fly that afternoon.
That was the day my Aviophobia was born…
All flights were eventually cancelled, but until that happened, I experienced a surge of panic about our trip that afternoon. Logically I should have expected business would not proceed as usual, but I was in shock watching the horror unfold on TV. I felt sick with fear I might still have to board a flight in a few hours.
When you ask someone with Aviophobia “Can’t you just take a Xanax?”
For some the answer is no
This article from Stratosjets explains Aviophobia well.
I’ve summarized some key points below:
Fear of flying (aviophobia) also known as flight anxiety, flight phobia, aerophobia – is classified as an anxiety disorder. The anxiety levels and severity of symptoms vary greatly between sufferers and are difficult to define. Aviophobia encompasses the emotional responses experienced in-flight but also the anxiety and dread that occurs with the mere anticipation of an upcoming trip.
Between 33% and 40% of all people experience some form of anxiety when it comes to flying.
Stratosjets.com
60% of sufferers experience generalized anxiety during the flight (and leading up to it) that they can easily manage on their own.
Stratosjets.com
Between 2.5% and 5% of the population have crippling anxiety, a genuine fear of flying that is classified as a clinical phobia
Stratosjets.com
This can begin far in advance of a flight.
- People with generalized fear flying, uneasiness in-flight, anxiety during takeoff, landing, or turbulence, may consider Xanax or non-medication relaxation techniques as viable options.
- For the other 2.5% to 5% of us with crippling flight anxiety, it’s not just stress before and during the flight. Some begin to have have anxiety weeks or months in advance. In my case, it was months.
- My flight anxiety started 3-6 months before the flight and included nightmares of plane crashes that awoken me drenched in sweat. During the day, merely thinking about the trip would immediately trigger anxiety, nausea, heart palpitations, sweating, and the feeling of a panic attack.
- Those of us with the most severe cases feel that if we get on the plane it is going to crash.
- When people said “Just take a Xanax” I’d ask them “Would you tell me to take a Xanax to jump in front of a bus”? If we really believe taking the flight will result in us being killed in a plane crash, you’re asking us to take Xanax so we can go to our death. I realize how ridiculous and extreme this sounds but it’s important to understand how serious this can be for anyone you know suffering with an extreme case of this phobia.
After 9/11, I changed roles at work to avoid all business travel and opted out of many company-paid trips to Cancun. Family vacations became cruises, road trips, and Amtrak train up the East Coast. I even researched transatlantic crossing by ship (PS- it takes a week!)
I became content with the fact I would never travel abroad.
So, what changed? Why now?
In 2019 I started to notice the desire to visit Italy creeping in and it wasn’t causing the usual panic attack.
One day in 2020 I realized my fear of flying was just GONE. The only explanation I have is that within 2 years, I went through two life-altering events that changed me.
2018
In 2018, two of my children attended a High School involved in a mass shooting. My kids were unharmed physically but lost friends, coaches, and their innocence. Our town lost 17 beautiful souls and more were injured. Many of us had kids dealing with PTSD. It was just HORRIBLE.
I spent the next two years on a rollercoaster of emotions – from fear to sadness, to anger (a LOT of anger), and back to sadness depending on the day. A day didn’t go by where the shooting or my kid’s safety wasn’t consuming our life.
Mass shootings claim an incalculable amount of casualties, far beyond the injured and deceased. Every parent and child, regardless of physically injuries, are impacted mentally and emotionally. In a blink of an eye, the life course each child was on had suddenly been altered. Some would cope better than others but we’ll never know the mental toll it took on all 3,000 students.
As a parent, you don’t know HOW to “parent” your child after that. There is no playbook and the psychologists aren’t fully equipped either. This drove up my worry and anger for so long.
Shortly before the 2nd anniversary of the shooting, I noticed I wasn’t feeling angry or sad every SINGLE day as much. Time passage helps lessen the anger but witnessing the strength of parents who lost children and how they conducted themselves impacted me the most. Many channeled their anger and devastation into projects or legislation in honor of their child.
I was so tired of being angry and allowing this evil person to impact how I felt every day. He took so much from so many, I was done letting him take from me.
2020
In 2020, just as I was coming out of a 2-year fog from the school shooting, a little thing called Covid19 happened. This touched every person on the planet when we were forced/chose to stay home for a very long time.
Early in the pandemic, I joined an amazing FB group “View from my window”. I adored seeing the views from people’s homes all over the world. In those early months, we were all going through the same human experience together. In a way, it made the world feel smaller than it ever had before. I started to deeply regret the last 20 years spent NOT seeing views from as many windows as possible.
That’s around the time I realized my fear of flying was gone.
I had been through two of the worst things you can go through in a lifetime – and guess what – they didn’t happen on a plane. They came right to my doorstep! I think the brain has only “so much room for so much fear”. As quickly as 9/11 caused the onset of my phobia, the latest two events caused it to go away.
I started making lists of all the places I wanted to see and set a goal of a new destination every 2-3 months. Once travel opened up, I was off and running!
In 2022 I’ve already been to Italy, London, Paris, Nashville, and North Carolina and 2023 will be Cancun, Switzerland, Italy, Washington and hopefully more.
I still have a day job but instead of working to buy more things, I’m working to fund travel and experience the world.
SO…. welcome to the view from my window, it’s busted wide open!
I have 20 years of missed windows to see, clothes to wear and photos to take. I hope my story may inspire others to stop fearing what we can’t control, take risks and enjoy life a little more. It’s the only life we get!
Stay tuned and follow the ride if you like.
Peace, love, happiness, health, and travel!
Cindy
understand flying anxiety and fear Covid19 school shooting msd stoneman douglas high school fear covid19 school shooting school shooting stress fear covid19
understand flight anxiety and fear understand flight anxiety and fear understand flight anxiety and fear Covid19 Covid19